My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy by Andrea Askowitz

Don't let the title scare you away. This is one funny book and you don't have to be a lesbian or ever been pregnant to enjoy it. I concur with reviewers who have compared Askowitz's writing to David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs. This book is also along the lines of Everybody Into the Pool by Beth Lisick and Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress by Susan Jane Gilman.

I've chosen this excerpt because watermelon is one of my favourite foods:

Week 34, Day 3

I bump into a guy I know at the grocery store. He says, "Wow, does it feel like you've got a watermelon under your shirt?"

I say, "Yeah, especially at night, trying to sleep."

We do our shopping, and then he's in front of me at the checkout line. He says, "Does it feel like you have a watermelon under your shirt?" I think he doesn't know what else to say.

I say, "You can say that again!"

I buy a watermelon. Some women can't eat one piece of chocolate or they'll eat the whole box. I have this problem with watermelon. I go home and eat the whole thing. I know watermelons come in different sizes, but no watermelon is a single serving. Right now, I feel like I have a watermelon under my shirt.

Check out Askowitz's website for lots more.